Being Social

Even before the pandemic, I would say that my social skills were erratic at best. Faced with a large-ish group of people I’m likely to get quieter as the night goes on, with intermittent bursts of conversation randomly appearing from nowhere. In the past, this was often after a pint or two to bolster my confidence.

I don’t drink alcohol anymore, and the various lockdowns mean I’ve done very little for the last couple of years to speak of. I’ve certainly only interacted with a very small number of people in that time anyway. Getting back into the swing of things in work was one thing, customer patter (while still occasionally a bit awkward in my case) is relatively easy, it’s almost scripted. Actually being articulate in a group of people is often much harder for me.

If you know me and are reading this thinking that it seems odd as we’ve had animated or even heated discussions then I obviously feel comfortable enough to have done that. (Or, if it was a few years ago I may have been drunk.)

Some of it is anxiety. When extremely anxious I have a stutter, so I’m less likely to communicate. I also have complete mental blocks mid-conversation, with or without anxiety kicking in. I start off confidently then either forget a name or place or just get a little lost or sidetracked along the way and have to trail off. Not starting in the first place combats this effectively, I find.

Having said all that, last night I was in what I would consider a large group of people, all sat at a long table so a fair bit of shouting going on from one end the other, and I was pretty much fine. I wouldn’t say I was overly chatty but I had a good time, joined in conversations and didn’t leave with my mind racing about wrong words, or any faux pas. I just had a really good time, in jolly good company. It felt good.

Author: A-M